I decided to ask myself a few but not so serious questions” Thank you for having me miss Valary, It is my pleasure!” ,and without further ado lets get into the questions!
What is your name?
My name is Valary Opiyo Otieno. Most people call me Val – my mum inclusive,though I have a special name (Nyagoro) which I prefer only my dad to use.
Where are you from?
I stay in Nairobi currently though I am from Ahero.
Why did you come to Nairobi?
Good question.I know many people came because of University. For me is very different. It was not my plan but their plan. I came to Nairobi because they(I will not mention who they are) wanted me to come to Nairobi. I, being oblivious, I have never asked why but what I know is that after being caught sneaking out at night one day, two day later, I was asked to come to Nairobi.I have been in Nairobi since 2013 after doing my Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education exams.Since then,ironically, I have been a visitor to my home, always staying a few days then coming back to Nairobi.
How has been your stay in Nairobi?
Nairobi has been good and bad.Why bad?because, sometimes I feel I was denied family love and company as a growing young person who was trying to find herself and her voice and who really needed parental guide.I grew fearing my parents and after finishing high-school I thought it was the best time to bring them close and have enough time with them but there were other plans.My wish is I could have stayed with my family longer as a growing young person rather than staying away from home.Staying away from home meant I was in this life alone.No one cares too much about you but about them.”Nairobi onge min ngato(Nairobi has no mother hahaha)”, they say.
What advise can you give to aspiring parents and to yourself?
Be a guide to your children but do not dictate what they do in their lives,let them decide for themselves.Make sure you create a warm, calm and free environment where there is no fear. It is sweet when a child can approach you as a parent with anything that crosses his/her mind- It yields pure love. In addition, do not allow your children to stay with anyone but you the parent.If it is money you lack, I believe a child who genuinely loves you will understand that. Sending him or her to stay away from home is denying them your love and company. I am afraid they will search for it elsewhere and you will label them as hoes and thieves when the problem was you. Childhood contributes much in a child, be careful while parenting.
What makes you happy?
So many things make me happy ,just to mention a few: Being able to get things done is something that makes me happy.The satisfaction it gives is out of this world.Having a naked conversation with a friend with no judgements but pure love brings joy to my heart.Lastly, being respected,complemented and appreciated delivers joy to my heart.
What do you love doing?
I love complementing people. I love making people feel good about themselves.I also love reading but not too much! My concentration span never allows me to read much.I am here wondering if I have answered the question correctly!(maybe you(reader) tell me!).
What do you hate about some people?
I hate people who despise those around them. I believe everyone is special in a way and him or her not being able to do one thing doesn’t make him/her foolish. I am certain there are other things they are excellent at. I do not also like those who judge other people by what they can or can not do. The Bible says “Judge not so you will not be judge ” ,in addition, it says ”Do to others what you would want to be done to you.” Make the environment around you accomodative -no one is perfect!
What Character do you hate about yourself ?
I hate that I am an oblivious person. I bet I have missed out on a lot of things because of this but it’s life. I am working to being a curious person and it has been a great journey.I as well doubt myself so much and I hate it.More oftenly, I look at myself through people’s eyes(external validation)- I swear it is not healthy.
What do you struggle with most?
Correcting a friend. I care so much about how they will feel after I correct them. Very toxic right!? Clearly I am not that good friend you would want to have.
What do you hate about life!?
I hate the fact that everything is vanity. There is no one hundred percent guarantee for a better life however much you put effort in your work.Ultimately, you die leaving everything you worked for , but in all, seek Christ so that when you lose everything you have Him to hold on to.
What do you fear most about life?
Dying without having made my two favorite humans proud of me.
What are the lessons this life has taught you?
Be patient with yourself.I am always on the go after things. Things that are somewhere seated with their right leg on their left thigh popping champagnes. Things that are somewhere just waiting for me.Life is best lived when you take things slowly(mos mos).It has as well taught me that every plan we make has to be accompanied by prayer because it’s God who makes the plans happen. Life is a constant Roller coaster of emotions and if you get a chance to be happy, make use of it fully. Lastly, people only associate with you when you have a title to your name or have achieved something,otherwise, you will be treated as a nobody.
What can cheer you up in a sad moment?
Kind words to me erase sadness from my heart.
What is the one thing you can tell your younger self?
Nothing has ever been achieved over night. It takes everydays’ persistence, practice and consistency. Take one thing at a time and perfect in it. You can not learn everything at ago.It is okay not to know, and there is always a first time in everything.Never feel bad not knowing something.
What can you say about your childhood compared to your youthful life?
I enjoyed my childhood more than my adulthood. As a child I lived as a free spirit, with nothing to be worried about but how to win the rope skipping game,fun huh! As a youth, I have lived a reserved life.I have denied myself so much and that is not how life should be lived. Live life, and have fun making sure you do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be worried about things you do not have control of. Make life out of what you have.
What’s your opinion on sex before marriage?
Live making sure you have a clear conscience at the end of the day and that God is pleased and happy with you.
What can you say is the main course of failure in businesses you have done in your life?
Not knowing the meaning of sacrifice and being impatient.I have always thought that success is an overnight thing. I did not know that to be successful you need to be determined, master the art of sacrifice and be patient with yourself. For the people who trusted me with their businesses, I am sorry for messing them up. We can give it another shot ,you know, now that I self aware.
What do you like about your parents and how can you describe your relationship with them?
Hahaha my relationship with my parents is complicated, not in a bad way. I can say we are friendly but not friends just as Eddie Ashioya said. Read this https://bikozulu.co.ke/split-eight-ways/ to understand what I mean. My mum is very hard working and am sure the goals and wishes she envisioned for her family she has achieved. If you want serious things done in time, then my mum is the go to person. She is very passionate in everything she does and kind in person.Not to forget how jovial she is.We are all silent people in out home am pleased to say she is always the one who brings stories to the t able.On the other hand, my dad is a very calm, and respectful person. Respect sounds big and complicated but it’s very simple, as simple as not stepping on a wet floor that have mopped(that is how low I go with respect). My dad talks with respect. Kind words never run out of his mouth when speaking.He is the head of the house,we know, but that doesn’t stop him from requesting to get a cup of water or to get anything done to him. It doesn’t cost you a dollar to say ”Please, get me a cup of water”.I love respect and if you want us to be friends then you must have some respect. You want to know why I hate people? look no further because tend to own people and conversion talking with authority and so much disrespect. Above everything, he believes in me and that’s all that matters.
What does love mean to you?
Love means so many things.One, it is being able to keep someone in your heart and just wish the very best for them. Some of us do not know how to keep love candle burning but I believe their is no standard way of expressing love.You can express it in whichever way you can as long as the people you love remain your heart.
What is the worst childhood memory?
I have so many,but the one that stands out is being denied to visit my grand parents. One day, in December 2004, I gathered enough courage, enough to help me speak to my dad. That time he was seated outside in a plastic chair.With my two tiny legs, I matched towards him making no sound so I do not alert him.Making sure I kept reasonable reasonable distance from him,just in case things did not turn out well, I asked ” Baa wanyalo dhi limo dani (Dad can we go visit grandma )? The answer was a No with no explanation and I felt very disappointed .Sorry to say but from that day, we stopped visiting our grandmother until this day that I am writing this article.Since the I lost interest in traveling, visiting people and visiting places.If you ask me the location of a place and I tell you I do not know it, please do not judge me.
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